What To Do If Your Relationship Changes

Relationship changes - why relationships change...

We all hope that our relationship will be as good and strong after a few years and months as it is when we first start going out. The reality is that for most people their relationship changes over time for better or for worse.

If your relationship does start to show elements of change, and you feel that they are from your partner, then there are various elements to consider when trying to deduce what the reason behind their change in behaviour is.

Work Pressures

One common reason for people changing in relationships is due to change at work - for instance more pressure, a new boss, a hard or stressful project. These can filter through to home life where people find it hard to relax or their tension makes them snappy at home.

If this is the case, then try this:
- be patient, kind and caring
- explain how their behaviour at home is making you feel
- help them relax, and suggest that you set aside some time each week for just the two of you to relax and enjoy together

Health and Stress

Another common reason is issues with stress or health of some kind or another. There are usually symptoms you can spot for these, and if there are health concerns then encourage your partner to talk these through with you - sharing these things is often the key to helping alleviate and making your partner feel better. Particularly this is true with stress.

- Be sensitive
- Be patient
- Remind them the impact their behaviour has on you too
- Work through it

Changes in Attitude and Behaviour Around You

If there are no outside pressures or changes that you are aware of, such as an ill family member or a problem with work or stress and so on, but they are changing their behaviour around you, then you may spot some of the following:

- Spending less time with you
- Lots of late night work appointments
- Going out with friends in preference to seeing you
- Lack of affection and tenderness
- Feeling isolated and the relationship has gone cold

This can mean several things. It could mean that they have gone off you and really are going through the motions in the relationship. It could mean that they have actually found someone else.

What to do in this situation? Well you need to address it straight away. Encourage your partner to be honest with you. If they are in denial or very defensive it could be that they are trying to hide a guilty secret.

If you decide that you've made progress in your chat, then stick at it and work at it. Try to make time together where you enjoy each others company, and then you will find that things should improve.

Sometimes relationships do just peter out for whatever reason and there is little either party can do. If this happens accept it and move on rather than staying together just for the sake of familiarity or the difficulty of splitting up. We all deserve to be happy and find the right person for us.

What To Do If Your Relationship Changes

Author: Stephanie

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Last Updated: Dec 14th 2006

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