How To Improve Your Confidence In Conversation
| Business : Career Techniques We have all been there - a new job, people around you that have got to know each other really well and you are viewed as an outsider. This makes anyone nervous! You are apprehensive about making conversation with these groups either as a group or on an individual level that you don't know very well. How do you handle this? Well, you should try your best to relax as much as possible and not get tense and uptight; breathe in slowly and concentrate on keeping eye contact with whoever is speaking - this will show that you are willing to participate and are interested in the conversation that you are having. When you do start to feel comfortable, you should aim to try to join in a group conversation, but without becoming the centre of attention straight away. For instance, make a warm comment, without doing the key mistake - that of arguing with the viewpoint of the speaker and disagreeing with them. Or simply ask some sort of general, non-specific non-loaded quesiton. People will feel that you are part of the group and this will help you to relax. Remember, if you don't feel that you are part of the group, then chances are that this will come across and no-one else will view you as such either and you will make life difficult for yourself! A little humility can go a long way - if you don't know much about something then say so, but make it positive by saying you'd love it if they could tell you a little more, or share their experience with you or something like that. People love to be seen as sources of respected knowledges, so sometimes massaging the odd ego can do wonders for you! Positive contributions of any sort, as long as they are (moderately(!)) sincere can be a great help. When you start to express ideas, keep them simple and short to start with; a good clear idea will be welcomed, again maintain eye contact and enjoy being successful in your conversation. If the conversation starts to flag, then think around related topics. Or just start general conversation if it is appropriate to do so, the news and how long that person has been in the job, what they like about it, what they see as the good and bad parts and so on. You can always prefer some sort of starter conversation if you like. You don't need to be involved all the time; silence but observation every now and then is more than acceptable! Take all the chances that you have to be around people, especially initially, rather than isolating yourself on your own. What do you want to achieve from your conversations? All this should help you focus, relax, know what to say, and soon you will be a happy, popular, successful member of the team!
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