Business : Career Techniques
If you are having problems with a co-worker, it is best to deal with them as soon as possible rather than letting them build up and not talking about them. Try and approach the person in private or ask if you can go to another room so that you can talk more freely. When you are stating your case, make sure you stick to the facts and try not to bring other workers into it, by repeating things they have said, or things they told you your colleague said. This will only make the situation worse. Be calm, polite and reasonable. Make an effort not to come across as aggressive - watch your body language isn't defensive either.
Listen to the other person and try to understand their perspective of the situation. What do they want you to do? Is it feasible? Show your understanding in a neutral way, you don't have to agree with them but don't get defensive and lose your cool. Instead, tell them your position and how you view things.
If you are dealing with a real bully, try not to let them force you into doing something you don't want to. Be firm but polite, always look them in the eye, and if things get nasty then the best thing you can do is walk away.
Sometimes you have to decide if the problem is simply a clash of personalities. If this is the case, then try and adjust yourself accordingly, and you might find that if you make an effort, the other person will also do so. You might not ever particularly like them, but as long as you can get the work done and communicate on a business level effectively, then this is sufficient.
When conflict with another member of staff really becomes a problem, and you have tried discussing it with them, the best thing to do is go to your immediate superior and explain the problem, but avoid sounding like a petulant child. Be adult in the way you state the problem and how you see it.
Dan
By: Dan on Sat, Jun 15th 2002
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