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Profile for Anthony Ross

Anthony Ross has been a member since: Wed, Mar 22nd 2006
Age: 25

Username: Sathasarus

About Anthony: I am the nice guy with a troubled mind. I seem to have a few special abilities. The current ability which has brought me to this site, is my ability to understand what I am feeling and ask myself why. I am aware of the majority of flaws I possess, and although frustrated that they are flaws of mine, I continue to find solutions that are logically reasonable. If there was one career that you could picture me as, it'd be an events planner or some kind of people-skills related job. Basically because I go OUT of my means to help others until I see a reason not to.

As much of a random comment this might be, this is the best way I can explain who I am and why I am searching the net for something to spark my interest just a little bit:

I don't normally keep a journal, but if I were to write one today, I would write this:

Today I got frustrated at my roommate but didn't show it. The mounting problems that are so petite and normally wouldn't bother me if my life were on a more positive note is now bothering me. But why was I frustrated and for what reason? It turns out that I was actually frustrated because my roommate ate all of the bread, didn't offer me anything and then went to the store to buy himself something to drink. This guy owes me 300 bucks, and on top of that I am aware that he is spending money on things he doesn't need. (no comment on what, that's his business) Anyways, so i finally tracked down that I was upset because he did not offer me things I like because he likes them too. But if it is unimportant to him or not a big thing, he will offer it.

Breaking that down, I came to the realization that I shouldn't be mad because everyone doesn't think the same. Since I never show that i'm upset of the current situation even though i think he is taking advantage of my kind heart I figured he thinks there is nothing wrong.
So I calmed down and thought about how to fix the problem. The sad part, my solution to fix the problem involves me confronting him, and I am afraid the things I have to say about him, will dig so deep down into him that even 20 years later, after college and married, he will never forget the words that I would have to say to make him understand where I am coming from. I've had a similar situation when someone told me one drunken night that I walked gay. I don't actually believe I walk any different than anyone else, but regardless I still think about that persons comment everytime I walk and there is someone else that can see me.
Thus, I am stuck convincing myself that he doesn't mean to do what he does that is just how he was raised and although I get irritated when he slams his door when i'm sleeping rather quietly shut it or other little things combined with the major things, I know that my opinion of life and what it means and how I think it should be lived does not constitute for me to confront this problem unless it threatens my happiness to a great deal. But understanding all of this has made me a better person and with each passing day, I think more and more and feel I am acquiring a huge "street smarts" type of attitude.

In real life, I actually have been told by many people, as well as you can tell by the people I meet, that I have been blessed with the gift of "social acceptance." Sometimes I can walk into a bar (i'm white, tall) and I would be the first person someone would talk to if they had to choose someone to talk to. I am approached a lot because people think I'm friendly and my witty humor and ability to understand and feel what others are thinking and feeling has made me be a good person. One of the things I pride myself on is sucking it up. If someone else is having a moment, and I can say something or do something to take the moment or say "oh yah well i got a 500 dollar blah blah" or something... i won't; I won't try to show someone else up.

Anyways, I can ramble all day long. I found this site because I am quitting college and want to live the simple life. I have a very basic logic view on things and for me to figure them out I have to start at square one and work through it all. I do however have many ideas about many things. Most importantly, they are all ways of improving things in life. For the past two years now I have had this movie idea, that is amazingly awesome and will be publically accepted as well as a big hit. It is low budget too. I just don't know how to tell anyone about it or what the steps are. I am also -800 dollars in my bank account cause I fell victim to interent poker and over stepped my bounds trying to recover.
I play a fantasy game called heroes of might and magic and there is a heroes who profile reads something like this "A gambler at heart, receives excitement from the chance at a win or a loss, even if it's the fate of his own life"

I don't think I am going to overdraw if I ever overcome this negitive balance, but I also know that poker is one of the only interests I have.

Ok, just a quick note on interests then I am done typing. sorry. long profile.

I only have a few interests. Subspace (an online game, old school, lik asteroids, basic graphics) is an instant gratification type game. Plus the outcome is always different as even the newest player, eventually, could get a kill or score a goal (or whatever the point is of the game). So I keep playing and have for the past 10 years. Fantasy games, role playing etc, I enjoy "loot" which random positive stuff that is collectable and progressive to increase.. also random and cannot always be determined. I obviously found a new random liking ... poker.. which is as recent as 3 months. Other than that, I don't have much interests.

Incase you can't get a clear picture of what that exactly means, I will explain it here:
When I talk to my parents, or friends or the random person outside... my hands sweat and it takes a lot of energy to keep conversation. I don't have any trouble coming up with stuff to stay and it's always relevant and ends well. The problem is, I can't stand being around people for a long time because I get bored and the brain activity it takes makes being around others stressful. Sorta like going over bobs house every night and drinking beers is fun for a month or so, then unless you get super wasted and bring girls over, you get bored.

Then I have this other weird flaw thing, where if people invade me during my special time (i.e we partied last night and for the past 40 nights in a row, and it's the next day and you're knocking and calling and trying every means to get a hold of me;... at the same time 23423 other ppl are.. then I snap) I get frustrated because i enjoy just being by myself.

Which is why I decided to quit college. I also will have to agree with a playboy article (yah i just read it today and no i don't normally read it, but it was the jokes section) it said something like what do smart men do in marriages.. they don't get married. Which I think it's true. I think it's really hard to find that "one" and .. ok i'm rambling.

But for today, the most important thing I want out of life, is for someone to brain storm about life with. Someone to hear my ideas, hear what I have to say and help me reach higher conclusions.

I don't know, I have a lot more to say and I was pretty brief. I need money, I need a job, I need less of a social life. I still got people knocking on my door and calling trying to get a hold of me, and i have been hermitted in my dorm room for over a month when I have told them and gave them multiple hints (some pretty bold and unquestionable) that I wanted my own space and time. Yet in the 6 months I was here, I gained so many friends and people that cared so much for me cause of the nice things I did and said to them, that they (probably since i haven't been super rude) don't understand I value my own time.

Ok, done for now. Can you help me?
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Member Level: Blue star - (find out more)

Favourite website: Not specified

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Age:	25
Username:	Sathasarus
About Anthony:	I am the nice guy with a troubled mind. I seem to have a few special abilities. The current ability which has brought me to this site, is my ability to understand what I am feeling and ask myself why. I am aware of the majority of flaws I possess, and although frustrated that they are flaws of mine, I continue to find solutions that are logically reasonable. If there was one career that you could picture me as, it'd be an events planner or some kind of people-skills related job. Basically because I go OUT of my means to help others until I see a reason not to. As much of a random comment this might be, this is the best way I can explain who I am and why I am searching the net for something to spark my interest just a little bit: I don't normally keep a journal, but if I were to write one today, I would write this: Today I got frustrated at my roommate but didn't show it. The mounting problems that are so petite and normally wouldn't bother me if my life were on a more positive note is now bothering me. But why was I frustrated and for what reason? It turns out that I was actually frustrated because my roommate ate all of the bread, didn't offer me anything and then went to the store to buy himself something to drink. This guy owes me 300 bucks, and on top of that I am aware that he is spending money on things he doesn't need. (no comment on what, that's his business) Anyways, so i finally tracked down that I was upset because he did not offer me things I like because he likes them too. But if it is unimportant to him or not a big thing, he will offer it. Breaking that down, I came to the realization that I shouldn't be mad because everyone doesn't think the same. Since I never show that i'm upset of the current situation even though i think he is taking advantage of my kind heart I figured he thinks there is nothing wrong. So I calmed down and thought about how to fix the problem. The sad part, my solution to fix the problem involves me confronting him, and I am afraid the things I have to say about him, will dig so deep down into him that even 20 years later, after college and married, he will never forget the words that I would have to say to make him understand where I am coming from. I've had a similar situation when someone told me one drunken night that I walked gay. I don't actually believe I walk any different than anyone else, but regardless I still think about that persons comment everytime I walk and there is someone else that can see me. Thus, I am stuck convincing myself that he doesn't mean to do what he does that is just how he was raised and although I get irritated when he slams his door when i'm sleeping rather quietly shut it or other little things combined with the major things, I know that my opinion of life and what it means and how I think it should be lived does not constitute for me to confront this problem unless it threatens my happiness to a great deal. But understanding all of this has made me a better person and with each passing day, I think more and more and feel I am acquiring a huge "street smarts" type of attitude. In real life, I actually have been told by many people, as well as you can tell by the people I meet, that I have been blessed with the gift of "social acceptance." Sometimes I can walk into a bar (i'm white, tall) and I would be the first person someone would talk to if they had to choose someone to talk to. I am approached a lot because people think I'm friendly and my witty humor and ability to understand and feel what others are thinking and feeling has made me be a good person. One of the things I pride myself on is sucking it up. If someone else is having a moment, and I can say something or do something to take the moment or say "oh yah well i got a 500 dollar blah blah" or something... i won't; I won't try to show someone else up. Anyways, I can ramble all day long. I found this site because I am quitting college and want to live the simple life. I have a very basic logic view on things and for me to figure them out I have to start at square one and work through it all. I do however have many ideas about many things. Most importantly, they are all ways of improving things in life. For the past two years now I have had this movie idea, that is amazingly awesome and will be publically accepted as well as a big hit. It is low budget too. I just don't know how to tell anyone about it or what the steps are. I am also -800 dollars in my bank account cause I fell victim to interent poker and over stepped my bounds trying to recover. I play a fantasy game called heroes of might and magic and there is a heroes who profile reads something like this "A gambler at heart, receives excitement from the chance at a win or a loss, even if it's the fate of his own life" I don't think I am going to overdraw if I ever overcome this negitive balance, but I also know that poker is one of the only interests I have. Ok, just a quick note on interests then I am done typing. sorry. long profile. I only have a few interests. Subspace (an online game, old school, lik asteroids, basic graphics) is an instant gratification type game. Plus the outcome is always different as even the newest player, eventually, could get a kill or score a goal (or whatever the point is of the game). So I keep playing and have for the past 10 years. Fantasy games, role playing etc, I enjoy "loot" which random positive stuff that is collectable and progressive to increase.. also random and cannot always be determined. I obviously found a new random liking ... poker.. which is as recent as 3 months. Other than that, I don't have much interests. Incase you can't get a clear picture of what that exactly means, I will explain it here: When I talk to my parents, or friends or the random person outside... my hands sweat and it takes a lot of energy to keep conversation. I don't have any trouble coming up with stuff to stay and it's always relevant and ends well. The problem is, I can't stand being around people for a long time because I get bored and the brain activity it takes makes being around others stressful. Sorta like going over bobs house every night and drinking beers is fun for a month or so, then unless you get super wasted and bring girls over, you get bored. Then I have this other weird flaw thing, where if people invade me during my special time (i.e we partied last night and for the past 40 nights in a row, and it's the next day and you're knocking and calling and trying every means to get a hold of me;... at the same time 23423 other ppl are.. then I snap) I get frustrated because i enjoy just being by myself. Which is why I decided to quit college. I also will have to agree with a playboy article (yah i just read it today and no i don't normally read it, but it was the jokes section) it said something like what do smart men do in marriages.. they don't get married. Which I think it's true. I think it's really hard to find that "one" and .. ok i'm rambling. But for today, the most important thing I want out of life, is for someone to brain storm about life with. Someone to hear my ideas, hear what I have to say and help me reach higher conclusions. I don't know, I have a lot more to say and I was pretty brief. I need money, I need a job, I need less of a social life. I still got people knocking on my door and calling trying to get a hold of me, and i have been hermitted in my dorm room for over a month when I have told them and gave them multiple hints (some pretty bold and unquestionable) that I wanted my own space and time. Yet in the 6 months I was here, I gained so many friends and people that cared so much for me cause of the nice things I did and said to them, that they (probably since i haven't been super rude) don't understand I value my own time. Ok, done for now. Can you help me?
Posts:	0
Member Level:	Blue star - (find out more)
Favourite website:	Not specified