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Tips on getting back with your ex...

The last thing most people want to do is get back with their ex. But for some, when they split up, they do realise that they have made a mistake - or at least they think they do - and therefore want to try to win their ex back.

How to approach this depends quite a lot on who did the dumping and the reason for it. Here we assume that you did the dumping for whatever reason but have realised that you made a mistake, and now want to win your one true love - or similar - back! How to go about it?

There are many options. First you need to find out what their current level of interest in you is. To do this you can either try to meet up with them or use your mutual friends to do some scouting out for you.

The best way is to have a friend tell your ex that you have moved on and have a new partner - even though you don't. By judging their reaction it is very easy to tell if they are jealous and still have feelings or if they couldn't care less. If they ask lots of questions or seem a bit disturbed or annoyed by the news, then the good news for you is that they still have feelings for you, which should make it easier to get back with them.

Once you know this is the case, you could casually start texting them again, asking how they are and so on. If you did the dumping or acted unreasonably in the relationship, you might want to offer your apologies for how you acted during your time together.

After a week or two if you are texting back and forth OK and it seems fine, then you might suggest that you are going somewhere but have no-one to go with and do they want to come along?

Meeting on neutral territory and doing something where there is distraction is a good idea for a first time when you see each other after a while apart. Clearly make the effort to look good, to the extent that you are not fully blatant but that it will be obvious to the other person that you have made a real effort with your look for them so they know that you are still interested.

The rest of course is up to you - the way that you behave, make them laugh again, and on judging and sensing rapport.

If there is still chemistry between you then it should be obvious, but just don't expect things to be able to go back to how they were straight away; it will take time in order to get that trust and ease back in a relationship if it comes back at all.

Just remember that if you do decide to go along this route and get back with your ex that you are honest with yourself. Don't just remember all the good times which is easy enough to do and forget about the bad. When assessing if the whole thing is a good idea or not be just as honest about what went wrong last time and what you have learned from it to realistically stop things going wrong again.

Sometimes the healthiest thing to do in the long term is the most difficult - to go completely cold turkey with someone and move onto someone else. But if you have tried that for months and still can't help thinking about them then maybe you are a lost cause, and so you will need to hope that it is possible to win them back!
Get Back With Your Ex
Author: Stephanie

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relationship advice, revive a relationship

Last Updated: Nov 15th 2006

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Questions Stephanie has Answered:

I want to know how to get her back without knowing

...without knowing what?! If you want to win someone back then it is very hard, unless there was a specific reason why you split up and have reformed that element. If you drifted apart or the feeling was not mutual, then sadly it can be very hard to get it together again.

Hi I miss my ex so much, He was so in love with me one day and 2 days later he was unsure what he wanted. he has been under alot of stress and doesnt know if he wants someone or not. This seems really strange and i just miss him and hope he changes his mind.

Yes stress can do funny things to people, all you can do is wait and give him time and understand. If things don't change then try to move on as you cannot wait for someone else forever.

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